Top Ten Things to Do While Waiting for Your Birthmother to Give Birth

10. Shop online. Do you have any idea how many cyber-baby-stores there are on the internet? I do. There are 3,438,238. I've used them all.

9. Answer e-mails asking: "Is the baby here yet?"

8. Wash online purchases in Dreft. What is Dreft, you ask? Well, it's the clothes detergent that has been around for 40 years, entirely due to its amazing marketing campaign which states that if you don't wash your child's clothing in Dreft prior to her wearing the clothes, she will break out in boiling sores and seeping pustules. Luckily, Dreft smells wonderful, so you don't mind. You know that lovely baby smell? It's not the baby. It's Dreft.

7. Answer phone messages asking: "Is the baby here yet?"

6. Build up baby-advice book library. They're so helpful. Apparently, we're supposed to (a) never let the baby cry, but always pick her up, (b) never pick the baby up, but let her cry, (c) don't feed the baby cereal before 5 months, (d) feed the baby cereal before 5 months, (e) etc., etc., etc.

I want my money back.

5. Catch up on sleep. Actually, this is what people tell you to do. Like somehow, by having 10 hours of sleep per night before the baby arrives means that you can stay awake non-stop for days on end listening to a colicky baby after she comes home. I'm a well-educated woman. I don't buy this.

4. Answer people who pop into your office asking: "Is the baby here yet?"

3. Argue whether or not a baby wipe warmer is TRULY necessary.

2. Answer total strangers who pass you in the street who ask: "Is the baby here yet?"

And the number 1 thing to do while waiting for your birthmother to give birth:

1. Pray that the birthmother doesn't change her mind.

Comments

[Liz]

Oh, my deary dear (as my grammie used to say) I found you by clicking thru the "recently updated" at typePad.

I am holding good wishes for you (y'all, actually) in my heart.

You know what I remember most about having a newborn?
1. Sleepy all the time (Al is my birth child, I breastfed her, and I don't think she slept more than about 3 hours at a stretch for about 6 weeks.)
2. Kissing and loving, kissing and loving.

Be happy.

[Megan]

Karen - You are hilarious.

I especially enjoyed your take on Dreft and I couldn't agree more. I am still buying it after 10 months, even though my smart person's brain tells me it is a marketing ploy. I just recently found that they have generic Dreft at Target. I haven't done the seeping postules test yet, but I will let you know when I do.

[Dawn]

I came in via the adoption forums and wanted to say that your daughter is BEAUTIFUL!!! Seeing her pic has me hitting that #1 thing on your list a thousand more times and then a few times more just for good measure. :) Congratulations!!!!