Vanity, Thy Name is Alex

I've created a monster.

At last count, I've taken 1,720 photos of Alex since her birth. That's ONE THOUSAND, SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY PICTURES, folks. And that's all before her first birthday. Thank God for digital cameras, or the film processing alone would've bankrupted us.

As I have happily clicked away, I never once considered the developmental repercussions of my photography habit. I admit, Alex is completely comfortable in front of a camera as a result. My dear friend, Trish, is convinced that Alex actually poses for pictures. But surely, that's not a bad thing! That's a sign of self-confidence! Self-assuredness! Being comfortable in one's skin, so to speak! And so I clicked on.

This week, however, Alex has fallen in love with herself. And when I say "fallen in love," I mean enraptured. She cannot possibly get enough of the vision that is her own face. She sees a photo of herself on my computer, she gasps with glee: "DAT!!" she exclaims, pointing at the screen. The various pictures of her that my parents have around their house stop her cold. "DAT! DAT!!!" she'll scream, jabbing at the frames. But her newest obsession?

Her own reflection.

Alex seeks out reflective surfaces, just to catch a glimpse of her face. "DAT! DAT!" she'll yell, pointing at the bathroom mirror -- her subtle way of asking me to pick her up so she can smile at herself. My parents' black kitchen appliances are now covered with Alexis-saliva marks, where she actually kisses herself. And at night, when the the window behind our bed becomes as reflective as a mirror?

The child plays peek-a-boo. With herself.

It's my fault, of course. I've caused this crippling narcissistic complex; one which, in the not-so-distant future, she (or, Godhelpme, we) will probably end up paying some overcharging specialist to undo. I see it now: she'll be lying on this psychotherapist's couch, crying hysterically, writhing uncontrollably, and screaming: "MY MOTHER DID THIS TO ME!!" And all the while, she'll be trying to catch a glimpse of herself in the back of her doctor's metal clipboard, and thinking how beautifully tragic she looks with her tears streaming down her creamy brown skin and into her ebony black hair.

And yet, will I get rid of the Nikon? Not a chance.

I'm a bad, bad mom.

Comments

[mamaloo]

OMG. that last paragraph TOO F-IN' FUNNY!! You know it. Meltin' down for the psych and critiquing her own performance at the same time...(not really, I don't think she'll really DO that but it's really hilarious, the thought...).

[mamaloo]

the picture is particularly choice too. she looks so...pensive. contemplating big, big things...oh wait, HER OWN REFLECTION, right, right...

[nat]

Hee hee!

Look at the BRIGHT side. Most kids at her age don't know their looking at themselves in the mirror! They still think it's another baby. I'm telling you, K, this child is so, so smart. She catches on to things way faster than most other kids I know.

[Brooke]

OH my gosh this entry cracked me up. I found your site through someones blogroll...this is only the second day I've read your jounal...but I must say...I think I'm hooked ;)

[twyla]

if I was that cute I'd stare at myself in the mirror too!

[Jody]

At least she has great taste. :) Seriously, isn't the whole self-obsession thing a phase of development? Just a healthy, narcissistic American child.

[bluepoppy]

She needs to know how beautiful she is--- it's a lot to absorb and who can blame her for doing her best? I don't see the future analyst couch scene at all-- au contraire. I see Alex totally confident with no need to ever check a mirror cause she knows through and through she is totally gorgeous.

[Trey]

Oh, if you are a bad mom... i've destroyed my child's life...... our daughter poses in front of the mirror, striking different poses, trying out different faces....

and she's not yet three. I KNOW its because I take too many photos.

Maybe we should form a support group for our kids

[missbanshee]

I used to work in a daycare, and there was one girl who used to throw tantrums just to watch herself melt down in the mirror. And I agree with the poster above: If I was as beautiful as Alex, I'd be staring in the mirror all damn day too!