October 2008

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alex's life book

  • In early 2006, I began creating a life book for my daughter, Alex. Click here for links to articles describing my experience.
  • And for those of you who are more digitally inclined, in late 2006, I recreated key pages of Alex's lifebook for an article I wrote for AlphaMom, using Scrapblog.

    You can see the final digital result (and leave comments, if you'd like!) here.

what's been on my nikon lately

  • And you can view my favourites here.

if i'm not here, i'm here

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Comments

Memoria

Hello Karen,

I stumbled upon your blog b/c of a google search for Texas Cockroaches (weird huh? haha). Anyway, I found your blog entries so interesting, I started from your first post until your last post over a period of 1 1/2 days (instead of working my master's report hehe).

As everyone else rightly observed, your family is absolutely breathtaking, especially Alex. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Your photography and writings are also beautiful.

My primary purpose for writing this comment is to ask you a question that I pose with the upmost sincerity and respect. I noticed that on more than one occasion, you presumed your daughter's sexual orientation by mentioning "future son-in-laws" and her tendency to flirt when other men are around. Although the preponderance of parents make this assumption with their kids, I am certain that you are not as close-minded as some other parents are.

Question: In light of this fact, I was wondering what causes parents who are far from ignorant to still make premature assumptions about their children's sexual orientation? I would anxiously know your stance about this matter.

As a now out lesbian, my mom made this same assumption. In combination with her premature expectations and the general society around us, I waited until I graduated from high school to come out. During the time of being in the closet, I was faced with much emotional pain and internal desolation. My mom has always been my best friend, and I felt far from her because of this secret. Once I came out to her, my mom thought that my first girlfriend forced me to be "this way," but I told her that I had always been attracted to women for as far as I can remember (in fact, I found a diary from the fifth grade about a crush I had on my best friend). I only dated guys at that time b/c that is what society and what my mom expected of me. I was very unhappy until I came out.

So, I write this now lengthy comment to not only you but other parents as well. We must think outside of this heterosexual-assumption box, b/c the child may already have to deal with ridicule from the ignorance/close-mindedness at schools and other places. They will need to know that they are always welcomed at home to be themselves at any age. And, no, it is not a sad or unfortunate thing to think of your child as anything but a person who will be dating the opposite sex. Trust me, dating the same sex has more similarities than differences from heterosexual couples and is not only about sex.(Karen, I know you know the majority of this information. I am just hoping other parents see this and comprehend it.)

I know you care a great deal about how you raise Alex. Although I indubitably believe you will be supportive of her no matter her sexual preference, I hope that you make sure she is aware that her parents have not pigeon-holed her in a corner that may put her in the closet in the future. And to the other parents, making your child aware of ALL types of families is not something you need to wait to do when they get older. I am so tired of parents thinking same-sex parents/families are things to be discussed to older children as if this type of family/relationship is perverted. There are an increasing number of children books out there that show same-sex families that are more than geared towards children.

I apologize for being so long-winded. I sincerely hope you address my abovementioned question on your blog for others to see. If not, you can email me as well.

Sinceramente,
Memoria

Chookooloonks

Memoria --

Wow -- sort of a left field question -- I hope I can do it justice!

As far as "presuming" Alex's sexual orientation -- I suppose it appars that I have, but only as to your comment about "future son-in-law" (the child DOES flirt with men, period. She rarely has any interest in women). However, since I have several close friends who are gay, and with whom Alex is also close and regards as family, I'm sure she will grow up knowing that both her father and I could care less what her sexual orientation ends up being, so long as she's with someone who treats her with the respect and love she deserves.

Interesting point.

K.

Memoria

Thank you for replying. You are truly an awesome person. I have bookmarked your page for future reference :). Have fun at the conference.

Memoria

Lu

that is a great picture of you and the little woman!

kate5kiwis

:o) karen,
i linked to ya from mochamomma's blog..
this is an absolutely g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s photo..
two cool chicks!!!!!

Leslie

I just found your blog via Andrea's site and am just beginning to sit down and have a good read. I love reading blogs from women around the world.

Just wanted to pop in and say what a beautiful picture this is of you and your daughter. It is a happy picture for sure.

motherndaughter.blogspot.com

Cool pic *envy envy* I'm waiting for my baby girl to grow up like yours :D

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