Chookooloonks

love thursday: marcus, alex and you

As you know, every Thursday, I try to share some of the best examples of love or loving-kindness that I've seen over the past week. And, as usual, this week there were several instances where I witnessed true caring.

Nonetheless, without a doubt the best examples I witnessed of people going out of their way to show kindness was what you all shared with me in the comments of my last post. Every one of your stories made me smile despite my foul mood -- and they just kept coming and coming and coming! Thank you all SO much. You literally lifted my mood Tuesday night/all day Wednesday, so that by the end of the day I was back to myself again. I hope you'll all go back to that post and read what you wrote and shared, and realize what wonderful lives you all lead. It's so easy to get caught up in the negative minutia of our lives, when in fact, all these great things happen to us all the time. Again, thank you so much for sharing them.

In return, I feel like (at the very least) I should share some other things that made me smile yesterday: Alex also did her best to cheer me up, by gamely agreeing to shoot some more rainy day self-portraits with me...

... until her dad came home.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone. As always, feel free to leave the links to your expressions of love on each of your sites, or your images in the Love Thursday Flickr Pool. Also be sure to continue to check in at the Love is All Around site, for more love inspiration.

And may you continue to consciously notice all the things that make you smile today.

__________

a little happiness and light, please

Tonight I'm feeling exhausted, and overextended, and close to tears, for no other reason than I'm just really, really tired. Not to worry, though: I know all I need is a good night's sleep, and tomorrow morning I'll wake up right as rain.

But even so ... help me out a little, and cheer a sister up:

What good thing happened to you today? What made you smile?

Inquiring minds...

nice job!

Well, the comments are officially closed on the previous post, with the 334th comment coming in just before midnight. I had been planning to go through each post, disqualifying the ones that did not include both city and country, but since that would considerably reduce the amount of money in the pot (not to mention that the thought of culling through 334 comments is pretty daunting), I'm just going to say it's a donation of US$ 334.00, or, by my calculations, TT$ 2,107.24, and call it a day. I'm sure the Cyril Ross Nursery will be thrilled -- thanks so much for your enthusiasm!

Incidentally, several of you inquired about how you might be able to make your own donation to the nursery. If you're in Trinidad, the nursery's website provides their contact information, so feel free to give them a call. For those of you who are outside of Trinidad, I'm sure you can give them a call as well -- however, because I suspect it will be a bit more difficult than just giving your credit card number over the phone, I'd like to make a suggestion: consider finding an HIV/AIDS organization in your own hometown, and make a similar donation there instead. After all, it's World AIDS Day -- and considering how many countries were represented in the comments, if we all did our part in our own necks of the woods -- well, that would be truly spreading the love, wouldn't it?

So anyway, thanks so much for taking the time to show that you cared by leaving a note in the comments -- your response overwhelmed me, and I mean that in the best way possible. I'll be contacting the nursery this week, and continuing my little blogging break as well. In the meantime, pat yourselves on the back -- you did a good thing.

__________

world aids day

Still on my break -- but just popping in to show you this photo gallery from BBC News, depicting the HIV/AIDS problem that currently exists here in Trinidad.

Of all fatal diseases, HIV/AIDS breaks my heart the most. When we lived in Houston, I was on the board of AIDS Foundation Houston, an organization which helps people living with HIV/AIDS, and what I learned about the stigma associated with the disease is astonishing. I continue to serve on their Advisory Council, because I so believe in the work they do.

It's gotten out of hand, particularly in Trinidad, and countries all throughout the Caribbean and Africa (not to mention the rest of the world). We must find a cure. We must.

(Thanks for the link, Gallimaufry!)

UPDATE: Actually, I just had a thought -- since it is World AIDS Day, why don't I do this: for each comment left here on this post, I'll give a donation of one US dollar to the Cyril Ross Nursery for children affected by HIV/AIDS, shown in the BBC feature above. You need to leave your name ("Anonymous" will do, if you'd prefer) and your location (city -- or region -- and country), just because I like to see where everyone's from. I'll keep comments open until midnight Sunday night. Remember: name, city & country.

Come on people, make me poor. Ready? GO!

love is a decision

Many years ago, I was sitting with a friend discussing her recent engagement. My friend and her boyfriend had been dating for some time, and even though it was clear they were meant for each other, their long courtship had been filled with break-ups and reunions. I remember looking at her pointedly:

"I want to ask you a question," I said. "First of all, I think it's great that you and Mike are getting married. But I was wondering: how do you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him? How do you know you'll love him forever?"

Her answer surprised me: "Well," she smiled, "I know some people were surprised when we actually went ahead and got engaged, considering how rocky our relationship must seem. But the truth is, frankly, I don't think love is an emotion. Love is a decision. And I know I want to commit myself to deciding to love him every day, for the rest of my life. And he feels the same about me."

At the time, I'm sure my twenty-something-year-old self thought her answer was highly unromantic. But as I've gotten older, I've realized she's right: love isn't just that exhilarating rush you get when someone walks into the room. It's is also the decision to consciously love, even when the going gets a bit rough. It's the decision to do something nice for someone when they least expect it, and expect nothing in return.

Coming into the holiday season, I'm thankful that I remembered this conversation I had with my friend so long ago. I think, for this coming month, I'm going to make the decision to love someone every day -- try to do something unexpectedly kind for someone I love, whether it's a family member, or a friend, or a stranger or even a charity whose work I admire. If you're so inclined, I challenge you to do the same.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone. You know how it goes: feel free to leave the links to your expressions of love on each of your sites, or your images in the Love Thursday Flickr Pool. Also be sure to continue to check in at the Love is All Around site, for more love inspiration.

(Incidentally, this is officially my final post for NaBloPoMo -- I've posted every day this month. Predictably, I think it's time for me to take a little break, and spend some quality loving time with my family. You understand, of course?)

Have a wonderful day. May you decide to love, and may someone decide to love you today.

__________

good morning, sunshine

Today's morning view.

Three good things:

1. Attending a going-away party for a coworker of Marcus' last night, where those in attendance each expressed truly meaningful and heartfelt reasons why he or she was going to miss the guest of honour. Really inspiring.

2. Making the perfect cup of coffee this morning.

3. Having this, and especially this, in my Bloglines. These people get it. It's a scientifically-proven fact.

On that note: have a great day, everyone. May it be merry and bright.

haiti no more

It appears I am no longer going to Haiti: the trip has been canceled, for reasons mostly related to security. There is a part of me that is deeply disappointed: despite all of the traveling I've done in the last 5 years, say, none of it has been to a place that was entirely new to me. I was looking forward to going somewhere where I actually felt like a foreigner, where I could practice another language, where I could expand my horizons. Haiti would've certainly provided me an amazing opportunity.

But then there's this other part? Well, that part is just plain relieved.

In some ways, the relief is irrational. I am, if nothing else, an incredibly seasoned traveler. I've been flying since I was a month old. At last count, I've been to 30 different countries -- not all of them very safe. I've been to Nigeria, where a soldier with a machine gun escorted my every move. I watched the events of September 11th unfold from my hotel room in the Middle East. I used to fly to sketchy parts of the world with hardly a backwards glance. There was a time I'd have charged into Haiti with nothing but the grace of God. And yet, something has changed.

I was telling a friend recently that as little as five years ago, I never used to fear death. In my mind, death happened to everyone, it was the natural conclusion to life, and when it happened to me, I'd be ready. After all, I used to think, I've lived a good life. I'm well-educated. I've traveled the world. What more is there?

Then, I met Marcus. And while flying has never been my favourite mode of transportation, I found myself more and more saying a silent prayer before every trip: please, God, keep me safe. I want to have more time with this wonderful man. Don't let it be my time yet. And then I'd smile, and chide myself for being so melodramatic.

Then Alex was born. And since then, I find my prayers are becoming more and more fervent: please, God, please keep me safe. Alex is so young. I'm not finished being her mother. We're not finished being a family. There's still so much to do.

So even though I won't get to see Haiti, and get to experience the first black independent nation in person, see its vibrant art, taste its incredible French-inspired food, and meet amazing people like Wyclef Jean (and others), there's a part of me that is also relieved that I won't be visiting one of the most corrupt, dangerous countries in the world, as well. Because all of a sudden, considering the risks is actually important.

Because, happily, my priorities have changed.

the most wonderful time of the year

Yesterday, we put up our Christmas tree. While it may seem to some that it's awfully early to decorate for Christmas, trust me when I tell you we must be the last people in Trinidad to get our tinsel and trimmings up -- we were seeing trees up in October, and not just in stores, either. Without pesky Thanksgiving to get through, Trinis start the celebration of Christmas as early as possible -- after all, it is the unofficial start of the Carnival season.

Anyway, here are a few photographs of us doing the deed:

And, of course, our annual family-in-a-Christmas-ball self-portrait:

Fa la la la la, baby.

__________

right before i beaned him with a christmas ornament

"I don't know...maybe we should have another child."

"Why -- you want to get pregnant?"

Silence.

"Well??"

"Marcus, just because I suggest something you don't want doesn't mean you have to get ridiculous."

"Well, it seems that your being pregnant would be far less stressful than what we went through before."

"Says you! You don't have to carry the baby!"

"SEE? That's half the stress gone already!"

sometimes kids mirror your behaviour. and sometimes it's not pretty.

"Mummy, I'm very, very upset."

"You're upset?"

"Yes, I'm very, very angry with you."

"You're angry with me?? What did I do?"

"You are very, very naughty."

"What? What did I do that was so naughty?"

"You smacked the dinosaurs."

"Oh, I did? Well, I'm sorry. They started it, but I'm sorry."

"That was naughty."

"Yes, I know that now. I'm sorry."

"Go to the Naughty Corner!"

"What?"

"I said 'go'!"