Chookooloonks

We reach

Well, we're in Trinidad. After a long, thankfully uneventful flight, they actually let us in the country. And trust me, that's an awe-inspiring statement right there, given we were six large suitcases, three carry-ons, a stroller-cum-car-seat, a stressed mom, a distracted dad, a bored toddler, and a whole lotta attitude.

And I didn't even drink until we got to the hotel.

Actually, Alex did great, considering this was her first international flight, and it was 5-1/2 hours long. I thought she was sort of a pill, but luckily, none of our neighbouring passengers heard her, and complimented us on having such a well-behaved baby.

So basically, even if we've raised a fussy kid, she keeps it at a low decibel level. Which is okay by me.

Anyway, here's my little family, in a shot taken about 20 minutes ago:

All is well.

Mini-Natal-Celebratory-EXTRAVAGANZA!!

Today we celebrated Alex's first birthday. Her actual birthday isn't until Thursday, but, of course, on Thursday we'll be in a hotel in Trinidad, far away from some of the people who have been closest to Alex. It therefore made good sense to have her first birthday party here, today.

To see a photo gallery of Alex's big day, click here or on the link entitled "Alex's 1st Birthday" to the right.

And so, this will be the last post that I enter in Houston -- we leave for Trinidad on Monday. I'll let you know how everything is going just as soon as my stubby little fingers can find a DSL line.

See you soon, everyone.

To bed, to bed...

Shoes! And whistling! And shoes!!

Just some photos to give you an idea of what we've been up to these last few days:

This is Alex, dancing in her brand new, real, honest-to-goodness shoes*:

You can do anything, but don't you step on her pink suede shoes.

And here she is, right before our Wednesday morning constitutional:

And here she is, right after our Wednesday morning walk, whistling. And yes, sound actually comes out.

Guess she enjoyed the walk.

____________________________

*Note #1: Did I mention my baby is wearing real shoes?!?! My little girl is growing up!

Does it make me a dork that I actually cried when we bought them?

Wait -- don't answer that...

____________________________

Note #2: Today we took Alex to her doctor for her 12 month check up -- not her 12 month shots, mind you, because there's some stupid law that says that they can't give shots until on or after her 1st birthday, and just because we're going to be in a far-away land on her 1st birthday where we don't have pediatrician yet is no reason for them to bend the rules, now is it? Nonetheless, they looked her over, and she's doing great -- 75th percentile weight, 75th percentile height, 50th percentile head circumference (she's normally 90%-90%-50%, so I guess her head's finally catching up to her body -- not surprising, given how big her head is getting lately). But 100% healthy, and her vocabulary is ahead of where it should be. So looks like we're go for launch -- Trinidad, here she comes!

____________________________

Note #3: Did I mention the shoes?!?

Of Farewells, Leather Pants and Elvis Glasses

Last Saturday, Marcus and I threw ourselves a "See You Soon" Party -- our way of catching up with friends before we left town this coming Monday (!). The following photographs might explain why we don't throw parties like these too often:

This is an artsy-fartsy photograph Marcus took of a table at Zimm's Martini & Wine Bar, the scene of the crime:

This is a picture of Marcus and me at the party. Incidentally, this is probably the first picture taken of just the two of us in 18 months. Sad, isn't it?

This is a picture of Nadia and Melissa, desperately trying to add class to the whole affair. I'm told they were exhausted by the time they left:

This is an out-of-focus shot of Martin trying to explain to Trish why leather pants and Elvis glasses are totally appropriate attire, and Trish totally pretending like she gets it:

This is a picture of Victoria explaining that while that may be all well and good for Martin, she won't be caught dead with Drew if he ever shows up wearing leather pants and Elvis glasses:

This is a picture of Graeme and John demanding I take a picture of Kandy's boobs and post it on the internet, and Kandy vociferously protesting:

And this is evidence that I did it anyway. If I never post on this website again, know it is because Kandy has stabbed me through the neck with a cigarette lighter:

This is Chris trying to explain to Twyla why he, too, will never be caught dead in leather pants and Elvis glasses, and Twyla trying hard to understand, since, frankly, she dug Martin's leather pants and Elvis glasses:

This is Terry and his cousin:

And this is Terry doing unnatural things to my husband, even though he wasn't wearing leather pants or Elvis glasses:

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm happy to report that no one was hurt during the documenting of this event.

A Year Later

Today it's been exactly 1 year since I wrote this. One year since the birth of Chookooloonks. One year since I was sitting by the phone, anxiously trying to determine whether the pains Alex's birthmother was experiencing were false labour, or the real thing. What a difference a year makes.

As I think back over the past year, I'd like to think I'm a bit wiser now than I was when I wrote that first post. So if I may be so bold, permit me to pass some of that wisdom onto you -- particularly if you're someone who's been thinking about adoption, or becoming a parent. 'Cause trust me, you're in for a helluva ride.

Therefore, without further ado, I present to you the Top Five Things I Didn't Know Then That I Know Now:

5. Adoption is emotional. I think I naively went into the whole adoption process thinking we'll walk into the adoption agency and a few months later we'll walk out with a kid, and everyone will be happy. Trust me, adoption is one of the most emotionally draining things you'll ever do, even if you haven't been dealing with the nightmare that is infertility beforehand. So before you start, or even if you're in the middle of the process, take a deep breath, and keep going.

4. Even if you take that deep breath, you will find that the capacity for people to say completely ridiculous, stupid, insensitive and inconsiderate tripe knows no bounds. And just when you think you've heard them all, you'll hear another one. Here's one I've never mentioned before: years ago, when I was relating to my boss my desire to adopt if I ever decide to have kids, he actually said to me: "I could never adopt. My family name is from French royalty; I couldn't possibly do anything to disrupt the family bloodline."

All I could think was how sorry I felt for the man's biological kids.

3. Your ability to deal with gross is greater than you think. Before I had Alex, you couldn't get me to change a diaper. But now?

Well, hell, I've been peed on, pooped on, and spit-up on. I've dealt with cradle cap and baby acne. I've dealt with boogers as big as Alex's head (how do babies get such huge boogers?). And the amazing thing is that I've dealt with all of this with minimal squeamishness. You will too.

2. Your kid's going to have a mind of her own. It's unfortunate, but true. You know how, when you see a child or toddler misbehaving, you get really angry at the parents for not controlling her? And you know how you say to yourself, "When I have children, my children will NEVER behave like that?" Yeah?

Well, hang it up, dudes. These kids have their own little wills, and occasionally, they do what they like -- usually, whatever it is that would drive you up a tree. Me, I hated kids that yelled, especially in public places. I would look at Marcus and grimace: "How CAN those people let their child behave like that? This is a public place, man! We're trying to eat over here!"

Then, of course, we got a shrieker. Girlie would go ultrasonic on us without so much as a warning, and there I'd go, rushing out of the restaurant, or library, or bar mitzvah with the little demon in my arms, shooting "I'm sorry" glances to anyone who looked our way. It appears God does, indeed, have a sense of humour.

And finally, the Number One Thing I Didn't Know Then That I Know Now:

1. Parenthood is amazing. But it's amazing in a way that I can't describe to you. And it's amazing in a way for me that'll be different in the way it's amazing for you. And while I can't fault anyone for not wanting kids (because I was one of those people for years), if you do want kids, you're going to love it -- in a way that only you will understand.

Oh, and the most important thing:

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you for the past year. Your comments of advice, empathy, sympathy and generosity have eased my way into adoption and motherhood in ways for which I could never effectively communicate my gratitude. Even to those of you who read this faithfully and don't post a comment (and you know who you are): I know you visit, and your mere presence encourages me greatly. Chookooloonks has gone from a few hits a day to about 2000 hits a day, and each day I'm awed that you return. Thanks so much for your support. I hope this next year that Chookooloonks (in its new tropical location) keeps you coming back!

Dixie Chick

Alex, modeling her new overalls:

And Girlie was proud, too, mumbling something about takin' the girl outta Texas, but not takin' the Texas outta the girl...

Whatever, man. She's cute and all, but she's gonna look really funny in her country get-up, talkin' with a Trini accent.

I'm just sayin'.

Vanity, Thy Name is Alex

I've created a monster.

At last count, I've taken 1,720 photos of Alex since her birth. That's ONE THOUSAND, SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY PICTURES, folks. And that's all before her first birthday. Thank God for digital cameras, or the film processing alone would've bankrupted us.

As I have happily clicked away, I never once considered the developmental repercussions of my photography habit. I admit, Alex is completely comfortable in front of a camera as a result. My dear friend, Trish, is convinced that Alex actually poses for pictures. But surely, that's not a bad thing! That's a sign of self-confidence! Self-assuredness! Being comfortable in one's skin, so to speak! And so I clicked on.

This week, however, Alex has fallen in love with herself. And when I say "fallen in love," I mean enraptured. She cannot possibly get enough of the vision that is her own face. She sees a photo of herself on my computer, she gasps with glee: "DAT!!" she exclaims, pointing at the screen. The various pictures of her that my parents have around their house stop her cold. "DAT! DAT!!!" she'll scream, jabbing at the frames. But her newest obsession?

Her own reflection.

Alex seeks out reflective surfaces, just to catch a glimpse of her face. "DAT! DAT!" she'll yell, pointing at the bathroom mirror -- her subtle way of asking me to pick her up so she can smile at herself. My parents' black kitchen appliances are now covered with Alexis-saliva marks, where she actually kisses herself. And at night, when the the window behind our bed becomes as reflective as a mirror?

The child plays peek-a-boo. With herself.

It's my fault, of course. I've caused this crippling narcissistic complex; one which, in the not-so-distant future, she (or, Godhelpme, we) will probably end up paying some overcharging specialist to undo. I see it now: she'll be lying on this psychotherapist's couch, crying hysterically, writhing uncontrollably, and screaming: "MY MOTHER DID THIS TO ME!!" And all the while, she'll be trying to catch a glimpse of herself in the back of her doctor's metal clipboard, and thinking how beautifully tragic she looks with her tears streaming down her creamy brown skin and into her ebony black hair.

And yet, will I get rid of the Nikon? Not a chance.

I'm a bad, bad mom.

My mother is going to be SO disappointed...

Today, I walked into the bedroom to find Alex ripping the snot out of the cardboard box which held her Baptismal Candle.

It's official: my daughter stray-eth from from path of righteousness.

Texas Winter

It's unseasonably warm here in the Lone Star State. So warm, in fact, that Alex and I decided to dress her in a sundress-'specially-bought-for-Trinidad and have an impromptu photo shoot in my parents' back garden:

Model: Alexis Rhys
Designer: Old Navy

By the way, have you noticed how often I'm posting lately? That's 'cause once we get to Trinidad (in less than 2 weeks from now ... woohoo!), I have no idea how long it's going to be before we have an internet connection. Marcus says it'll be within a week; I say he doesn't know Trinidad. Ergo and therefore, I'm loading up now, hoping you'll forgive me if it's a while.